Lord, I believe; Help Though Mine Unbelief

This week has been pretty challenging. I feel like for the most part whenever Naomi gets sick I feel heavily burdened because sometimes it requires so much work from my part. I've had very little sleep this week. As I have thought about this week I've realized how much my happiness and comfort revolves around Naomi's well being. Sometimes I feel like it's too much to bear and how much I just want her to be healthy. This week there were times where I wondered if I'd be able to sleep and have pleaded to God to heal her. After many prayers and cries in the middle of the night I've wondered how come God had not healed her yet. I'd get all worked up and wonder if he was even listening to me. I know pain and affliction is essential to God's plan. It's very difficult for me to deal with my daughter's pain no matter how small or big it may be. I'd wish I were stronger in my belief and would have a better understand thus making the learning process slightly less troubling.

During one of the nights I where I just held my weezing and uncomfortable child I recalled the man who asked Christ to heal his son from the dumb spirit. I realized how the man wanted Christ to heal him but had a lingering moment of doubt. I guess sometimes when I'm in the middle of a trial I wonder if it'll ever pass. Truth is, it always comes to pass. I felt that many of the times I pleaded for Naomi to just be able to go to sleep and find comfort in my arms I wondered why it wasn't being granted. I felt so alone and extremely exhausted.

This moments taught me so much about God. I know for a fact that even though I love Naomi with all my heart, God's love is deeper and more purer towards Naomi
than mine. I know that even though I felt so alone and weak God lifted me up the next day and allowed me to help meet all of Naomi's needs lovingly. I also learned that he allowed for the colds to pass me even though everyone in my house got sick. I think that's a great blessing. I think God teaches me how to love my daughter more deeply and how to rely on him as I nurture my daughter.

Slowly Naomi is going back to her very happy self. Despite the fact she's been sick she's still very cute. She loves more cuddle time and I love that!